Why Relapses Don’t Make You
Inadequate

Most patients, or coaching clients, I’ve
worked with struggle with feelings of
inadequacy. This is one of the most
natural fears in the world but, like almost
all your fears, inadequacy is false. In
fact, as you read this Fun Times issue, you
will start to understand that you already
have everything you need to be as
successful as you wish.

What is the evidence for your feelings of
inadequacy? Your seeming inability to quit
repeating mistakes you’ve already made.

You are aware of your bad habits and
ineffective behaviors and you’ve tried to
change them.

Perhaps you are continually
unable to truly express your deep love and
admiration for your spouse and, instead,
keep him at arm’s length emotionally. Maybe
you pile debt on your credit card,
buying yet another pair of unneeded shoes
whenever you feel sad or alone. Perhaps
you eat big bowls of ice cream, late at
night while your family sleeps, and your
weight balloons.

Whatever your foibles and bugaboos, you’re
not alone in suffering from them. Even
when you have already made a concerted
effort to abstain! Returning to your bad
habits after you’ve identified new
behaviors to replace them is called a
relapse.

Don’t feel like there is something wrong
with you because your urge to revert
to “old behavior” is so strong. I’m going
to tell you something very important…
something that will help you quit beating
yourself up for your relapses. Lean in
close to the screen because I’m going to
whisper.

There is a reason a bad habit is hard to
break: your brain has an actual neural
pathway burned into it for every habitual
action you take. Your neural pathways
never disappear and, during times of stress
or anxiety, it’s very easy to revert to
your old, destructive pathways (or habits)
because they are so familiar and
predictable.

That is what we call a relapse.

And even though a relapse usually has
painful consequences, you are willing pay
the high price of that pain. You are
willing because, in return, you get the
soothing feeling of being back in control!

Okay…you can lean back from the screen now.

In the last issue of The Fun Times I told
you that it’s human nature to crave
control. Even if that control comes in the
form of destructive behavior. That’s why
my Fun Commandment, Don’t Look Back, is so
important for you. As I’ve told you, when
you recognize a bad habit like seriousness
(your worst), find an alternative,
productive habit to replace it and throw
yourself headfirst into the solution!

And don’t waste your time, energy, and
happiness by turning around to stare at the
door you just closed. You’ve heard that
one door never closes without another one
opening, but you also know that the hallway
can sometimes be a bitch! The hallway
lasts forever because you’re looking back.

The main benefit of not looking back is
that you’ll be focusing your energy on your
brighter future rather than your
unproductive past.

And here’s a “high dollar” professional
secret about not looking back:

Another benefit is that by forcing yourself
to not look back you are literally
mandating that you conduct yourself
differently. More positively and more
productively! And, each time you do
something according to your new,
productive, methods, you are burning a new
neural pathway into your brain; you’re
creating a new habit, except this habit is
positive and useful.

Eventually you have a new positive habit
that is just as familiar as your old,
discarded one.

Take seriousness, for example. Those
pathways are so ingrained that you don’t
fully realize how pervasive and destructive
they are.

Let’s face it; it took a lot of work for
society to replace your most powerful,
innate natural medicine of humor with
seriousness! It will take time to build
pathways of fun more ingrained than your
serious ones…because society did such a
great job indoctrinating you into the fold
of seriousness.

The good news, however, is that your life
will start improving the moment you begin
to use humor to reclaim your happiness. You
don’t have to wait until all your old
habits are replaced to feel reborn; you may
not realize it yet, but you’re already
happier…right now! And the same holds true
for any bad habit you’re replacing. The
less time you spend looking back the better
you feel.

And you need never feel inadequate again!

Your Attention Please!

Shortcut your success path!
Discover how humor benefits your life and
relationships. You may never be unhappy
again. Check out The Fun Factor for yourself
today.

Read Our Featured Article

Change management is a hot button topic
because most everybody feels they need it. Even
when your life is sailing smoothly and
you’re experiencing success with your good
habits, you’ll still occasionally relapse. This
article will teach you how to avoid
having your setbacks become failures and
how to make your changes permanent ones.

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Some Humor to Help You Smile

"I don't want to achieve immortality
through my work. I want to achieve it
through not dying."
Woody Allen

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