How to Change Yourself However
You Desire

"Dr. Kuhn," she said, "I've been looking
forward to talking with you."

I was attending an early Kentucky Derby
event and the hostess was someone I've know
for a few years. "I've been having problems
with taking myself way too seriously the
past couple weeks," she elaborated.

"You have my book, The Fun Factor, right," I
asked her.

"Yes," came her reply.

I continued, "And you've applied my HA HA HA
Prescription to all areas of your life,
right? Just as I prescribe?"

"Yes, and I've had great success with it,"
she beamed. "My husband and I are rarely
fighting anymore and my work is going
great! It's just been these last two
weeks...I find myself feeling and acting so
stressed out. I don't know what to do."

"Have you been in charge of organizing this
event?" I asked.

"Yes," came her reply.

"Then I think I know exactly why you've been
experiencing those problems," I told
her. "And I have some great news for
you..."

Experiencing frustration when you relapse
against positive changes you've made is very
common. You have undoubtedly made
some profound changes in your life based on my
Fun Factor prescription. You have told me
about how The Fun Factor has helped you with
weight loss, family reconciliation,
returning to your job, stopping smoking,
being a parent, and many other wonderful
accomplishments.

Yet, for all the positive changes your focus
on fun and humor bring, you still
occasionally get bitten by the seriousness
bug. And it screws up your life a little
bit.

To that end, I have some very interesting
information to share with you this week. The
following five stages of change were
developed by a University of Rhode Island
psychology professor named James Prochaska. These
five stages have become very influential
because they've helped many, many people
progress towards a life without harmful,
destructive habits.

I trust they will be helpful to you also. Of
course, I want you to read through them with
an eye toward gauging how far you've
progressed in jettisoning seriousness and
incorporating fun, but they work just as
well to measure any positive change you want
to make. I've also included typical
statements you might hear yourself making
when you are in each stage, to further
assist you in identifying your current
status.

Dr. James Prochaska's Five Stages of Change
(As Applied to Your Seriousness)

Stage One: Precontemplation. In this stage,
you're thinking you'll never change. You're
still in denial about your seriousness. Typical
statements from this stage
include "It's not really that bad," or "I
can change anytime I want,
I just don't want to right now."

Stage Two: Contemplation. In this stage you
are aware of your seriousness and you're
going to replace it with fun someday. You're
full of good intentions. A typical
statement from this stage would be, "I know
I need to take myself less seriously and I
plan on doing it."

Stage Three: Preparation. In this stage you
are making definite plans to stop taking
yourself so seriously. As an aside, don't
stop here! Research indicates that over 85%
of people needing to make health-related
changes never even make it to Step Three or
beyond. Typical statements from this stage
are, "This is the year that I'm going to
stop being so serious," or "Starting next
month I'm going to start taking myself less
seriously."

Stage Four: Action. In Stage Four you are
actually using fun to guide and motivate you
rather than seriousness and fear. As an
aside, make sure you dive right in to
The Fun Factor! Feeling quick, positive
differences in your life makes it much
easier to graduate to the final stage. Typical
statements from someone in Stage Four
include "I'm actually doing this," and "I
feel really good about using fun - it's
making a difference!"

Stage Five. Maintenance. In this stage
you've achieved the opportunity to use fun
forever because you've created new mental
pathways in your brain, retraining it. (See
last week's Fun Times for more on this) But
be aware that the old mental pathways of
seriousness you've abandoned do not
disappear! It is easy to fall back on old,
bad habits of seriousness when you're
stressed - we call this a relapse. A
typical statement from this stage is
"Fun is part of my life now and I really
feel lousy when I get serious."

Here are my doctor's orders after you've
identified which stage of change you're in:

If you identify yourself in Stages One, Two,
or Three in regard to replacing your
seriousness with fun, keep reading The Fun
Times and my website articles until you're
ready for Stage Four.

If you identify yourself in Stage Four, make
sure you have my Fun Factor prescription and
are applying it in all areas of your life. Feeling
the incredible difference fun makes is vital
to reaching Stage Five.

If you identify yourself in Stage Five,
continue to use The Fun Factor and do not
beat yourself up for your occasional relapse
into seriousness. As you now know, your
setbacks are not defeats - they are merely
reminders that we need to keep our focus on
fun today.

And that is exactly what I shared with my
hostess that night. I was certain that she
knew how to have fun, but the stress she had
fallen into while planning this Derby event
had triggered a relapse of seriousness.

Realizing this, she made a point to redouble
her efforts to use fun to motivate and guide
her. And you can do this too; don't get
down on yourself if you fall "off the wagon"
because all you're doing is reverting to old
habits in times of stress. Just remember
why you made your change, get back on your
horse, and pick right back up with your new,
healthy habit!

Your Attention Please!
How to escape the 97% of people who fail to
reach their goals. Fun Times subscriber,
Arina, is our newsletter sponsor this
month. She believes, like I do, that you
were born with the ability to turn your
dreams into tangible reality. And she has
prepared a special website just for US! Please
visit her and reward Arina for her generous
sponsorship. Follow the link below:
How to Set and Achieve a Goal

FREE Gifts!
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to two FREE gifts,- Dr. Kuhn's
Ecourse, "Stop Your Seriousness", and Dr.
Kuhn's book, "Ten Ways You Can Be
Happier...Right Now!"

Click Here to Get Your Free Gifts!

Some Humor for the Week

"On the fiftieth aniversary of V-J Day, the
victory over Japan, New York had a huge
celebration in Times Square. There must
have been ten thousand people right between
the big Mitsubishi billboard and the jumbo
Sonytron."
David Letterman