Stop Running the Gauntlet:
Laugh with Yourself Instead!

We know that by being too hard on ourselves,
we run ourselves through the gauntlet every
day. But did you know that the
phrase "running the gauntlet" is actually a
corruption of the Swedish word "gatlopp,"
which means "lane"? The Swedish army used
the gatlopp to punish soldiers; the guilty
soldier was forced to run naked between two
rows of soldiers who beat him with whips and
clubs. More about this in a moment...

Let's discuss my Fun Commandment that is the
perfect antidote for putting yourself
through your gauntlet of mental punishment:
Laugh with Yourself. The trick to this
Commandment is to make sure you're laughing
with yourself and not at yourself. Laughing
with yourself rather than at yourself is,
after all, the difference between endorsing
yourself versus attacking yourself.

Of course, endorsing yourself is what you're
after with this Fun Commandment. When we
laugh with ourselves we are saying, loudly
and clearly, that we are okay; we are
supposed to make mistakes and be incongruent
because we are perfectly imperfect. We take
the pressure off our harsh self-expectations
and judgments. No one is as hard on you as
yourself if you're not careful to laugh with
yourself!

Another reason this Commandment is so vital
is connected to what I've found through
three decades of medical practice - you
cannot think yourself into a new way of
living, you must live yourself into a new
way of thinking. It's all well and good to
talk about going easier on ourselves, but
until we actually start to let up, those
thoughts will simply remain unrealized "good
intentions." When we laugh with ourselves
we put our goal of easing up on
ourselves into action and that has the
wonderful benefit of actually changing who
we are and how we think of ourselves!

Here are three keys to ensure you are
laughing with, rather than at, yourself:

1. Your humor should give you confidence,
   not take confidence away from you. If you
   find yourself buoyed and bolstered by your
   humor, you are definitely laughing with
   yourself!


2. Your humor should give you energy and
   not discourage you. Laughing with yourself
   is a gift you give yourself and should serve
   to renew and recharge you.


3. Your humor should be self-effacing
   rather than self-deprecating. Self-
   deprecating means "exposing a weakness,"
   which is the opposite of what laughing with
   yourself is intended to do. Self-effacing
   means "dropping the pretense" and, if you
   are dropping your pretense with your humor,
   you are achieving the maximum gain from
   laughing with yourself!

By the way, British soldiers who observed
the gatlopp during the Thirty Years War
brought the expression home with them. But
they changed the word to the similar
sounding English word "gauntlet." Please
don't run yourself through your personal
gauntlet of mental abuse; laugh with
yourself this week as you make your
inevitable mistakes!

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Some Humor for the Week