How to Validate Absolutely Anyone

By Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
"It all starts with a SMILE"

Sometimes others will not agree with your viewpoint and will
refuse to be persuaded. And sometimes you will be the one who
refuses to be persuaded. In order to avoid shutting ourselves
off from the energy of love and fun which comes from our
relationships, I've learned that it is necessary to agree to
disagree.

Agreeing to disagree is the opposite of drawing a line in the
sand, which our egos put us up to. "How dare she disagree with
me?", we think. But there is a nasty truth behind "agree with me
or else..." ultimatums - you wouldn't make them if you weren't
afraid.

What are you afraid of? Why does it bother you so much when
someone disagrees with you? Is there a part of you that suspects
your feelings and perspectives are wrong?

No? Great, than you won't have as many problems learning to
apply this rule as I did!

How do you agree to disagree?

Try this. It's called the "Feel, Felt, Found" and it will help
you so much in gaining a position to affirm and understand other
people.

1. Tell your friend, "I understand how you feel..." and restate
your friend's feelings back to her.

2. Tell your friend, "I have felt that way myself in similar
circumstances..." and describe a scenario where you have shared
the same feelings.

3. Tell your friend, "And let me tell you what I've found..."
and share your perspectives and what you have learned.

You will be amazed at how validated the other person feels
(because you ARE validating her) and at how receptive she
becomes to your points of view. Because you have just told her
that she is right - that her perspective is okay and correct for
her.

At the same time, you're helping open her up to your
perspective. And doesn't it sound healthier to have more
communication in your life? Isn't emotional availability better
than shutting yourself down? Wouldn't you rather have more
energy than less?

Look for opportunities to use the "Feel, Felt, Found" this week
and be patient with the results. I'm confident you'll like
those results...and I hope you share some of them with me.

Please join me at the 2009 Annual Conference of the Association
for Applied and Therapeutic Humor, April 2-5, 2009 at the
Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. The theme of the conference
is "Healthy Humor Hitting the Wellness Jackpot." There will be
lots of great presentations (they've even asked me to speak on
humor and addictions) and lots of fun with some really terrific
people. You can get more information and sign up by going to
www.aath.org. I hope to see you there.

Your Attention Please!

Become a happiness machine today!

Announcing Dr. Kuhn’s new book, “It All Starts with a SMILE!” This
is his greatest work yet! Packed with 52 Smile Strategies
(one for every week of the year) guaranteed to send
your health and success over the top. Go to http://www.natural-
humor-medicine.com/new-book.html to get a peek at the beautiful
book.

Read Our Featured Article

Self-awareness is what allows humans dominion over the earth, not
opposable thumbs as you've been led to believe! And what makes
this possible? The natural medicine of humor. Better
still...humor's natural medicine also forges your self-awareness
into a self-actualized success-machine!

Your FREE Gifts!

Click Here to Get Your Free Gifts!

Some Humor to Help You Smile

Bill Cosby

"Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get
tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer."

Rita Rudner

Please - do your friends a favor! Send them
this newsletter or tell them to sign up for it
themselves by going to "http://www.natural-
humor-medicine.com/Fun_times.html" Let's
spread the happiness virus together!

Cliff Kuhn, M.D.
The Laugh Doctor
7406 Wesboro Road
Louisville, KY 40242
"It all starts with a SMILE"